The Focused Kiss

by David Battistella | The Focusing Way Podcast

Why do we kiss with our eyes closed?

A Focusing journey into the kiss.

Hopefully you’ve all experienced a kiss. I’m not talking about a peck on the cheek or the forehead, but the deep letting go we experience a kiss. Today I’m going to look at a kiss, that deep passionate intimate sharing ties to the depths of human experience, in a Focusing way.

First, let’s get the sex part of it out of the way and look at this as a kind of inner listening and going within.

If I was to ask you to imagine the greatest kiss you have ever experienced then chances are you probably just closed you eyes.

Something happens to us as our mouths approach the mouth of another to engage in a kiss. The eyes close very naturally almost if out of necessity as we prepare to engage in a kiss. The jaw loosens the mouth opens slightly maybe relaxed, maybe anticipation, in essence we are about to both engage and surrender at once.

We close our eyes because we are going inside. We are preparing our hearts, our bodies and our minds for an “engaged experience”. But what does this have to do with Focusing you ask? A kiss has nothing to do with Focusing process, or does it.

How do we want to be?

How do we want to prepare our bodies for a bodily process like Focusing? Do we not want to be open, relaxed and engaged? Do we not want to go within to explore the feelings and sensations that open up our inner wisdom. The place we access in Focusing is a place without thought.  It is a place without thought process. For me it can be like floating in the ocean and that moment when you don’t really know where your body ends and the ocean begins. Have you had that experience?

Maybe you don’t swim. Perhaps something else like sewing, cooking, chopping wood, a long run. Any of these practices that take you out of mind, or what I will call “overthought” and into a flow.

Maybe it’s that book you got lost in only to find yourself rooted firmly in the chair and deeply inside your body.  In any case what we are talking about in Focusing is engaged connectedness specifically to your body, in its whole and wonderful and often ignored intelligent inner systems.

What does this have to do with a kiss?

Well, the passion and feeling that kiss can bring is a kind of inner ecstasy and peace. Perhaps the way mystics describe ecstasy as a profound inner body experience that connects us to everything. Maybe the better way to put it is how it re-connects us to everything we have access to.

So take a moment right now to close your eyes and remember that kiss. Remember that feeling. That is the alive feeling that and active alive and living Focusing process can reconnect you with. That is the kind of feel better place where you can enter into relationship with all the complexities of you. That is the place where healing, repairing and realigning can happen.

And that moment when you close your eyes naturally

as you lean in for a kiss and the world in front of you gently falls out of focus naturally and a new world opens up with in you. That’s a pretty exciting place isn’t it. Focusing takes you right into those same places. Relax your body, close your eyes. Be transported into the world within where everything you really care about lives and wants to be expressed.

So it’s not about kissing so much as it is about feeling. Its about feelings that emerge that show themselves as aches and pains, as worry and despair, as anger, whatever, the moment you discover that feeling you can be focusing. You can come into relationship with it. Relate to in from within your whole organism and begin the road back to knowing and understanding yourself from a place some might call the soul.

There’s an old saying. It all started with a kiss. Well. I’ll just leave it at that.