Focusing Oriented Conversation
Focusing oriented conversation came to be with a focusing partner of mine. There were times when there was just too much, and many things needed to be verbalized or “talked through” in order to get enough space to go beneath the surface and get to what was happening underneath. This can also be known as story. But how do we honour story and let it have it’s place in Focusing?
We sort of found that by setting aside focusing time, we could use that time to hold space, listen and have respectful conversation. Focusing language could enter the conversation, or not, but it was an important step in process. We wanted to bring all the qualities of inner relationship focusing to a conversation.
I had found that sometimes early on in the focusing process, a lot of body feeling brings a need to express many ideas that are firing all at once as focusing begins to open up new possibilities and the body begins to communicate now that it is being listened too. I think it’s quite common as you delve further into inner relationship focusing work.
So we set aside some time was used as a kind of “conversational interactive focusing” and it was very helpful to both parties.
Sometimes, it’s nice to just talk in a focusing way, and that is what focusing oriented conversation is. It wasn’t a formal focusing session, but it could sometimes help get over certain humps that arise from time to time. Then you could get back to your regular focusing and sense freshly into what you are feeling.
If it feels and sounds right to you then I could suggest you try it. It’s a work in progress, a discovery into a style of focusing with inner-relationship at it’s core. You can even do it one way, while you are in a conversation with someone else. It’s a really nice way to cultivate self in presence.
It’s also a really nice way to introduce focusing to people who are curious about the experience but not quite ready to dive into full blown focusing sessions. Maybe they just want to talk a bit about what is happening with them. Of course this can obviously lead to focusing if it feels right, but it can also act as an intermediate step toward more formal process.